These days, we’re bombarded by debates about men, women, marriage, and family. Should women prioritize education or should they solely prepare to be wives and mothers? Should men expect to have a wife that only stays at home and cooks and cleans for him? Should couples limit their family to only one or two children, or should they embrace as many children as God gives them?
In the midst of these debates surrounding women and family, we find ourselves at the primary day in which we recognize the female sex: Mother’s Day.
Rather than offer the normal platitudes for Mother’s Day – which can certainly be well and good – I give you the following speech of one of the famous mothers in literature: Marmee, mother to the four “Little Women,” Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy March.
I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good. To be admired, loved, and respected. To have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it, Meg, right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world, marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting. Money is a needful and precious thing, and when well used, a noble thing, but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I’d rather see you poor men’s wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace.
Marmee’s opening sentences tell us that developing a well-rounded personality is crucial to our daughters’ future success. She does not uphold beauty over brains, nor does she advise us to neglect the cultivation of character in the pursuit of knowledge. Instead, she advances the thoughtful balance of a well-groomed woman, beautiful in body, soul, and mind.
Second, Marmee tells us that we must teach our daughters to view marriage as a beautiful state, a worthy goal in any woman’s life. Her free talk about the ups and downs of married life should encourage us to follow the same course, discussing these realities with our daughters even while they are young. Doing so will open future channels of communication between mothers and their daughters, which will in turn eventually discourage them from looking to outside sources to shape their thinking on marriage and motherhood.
Marmee also hints that we must help our daughters prepare for marriage, learning the duties that come with running a household. In practice, this means that we must turn more and more responsibility over to our daughters as they grow, letting go of our tendency to control how a particular chore is done or a certain task executed in order to cultivate independence. Teaching them to work diligently and effectively without their mother’s constant interference will boost their confidence in their ability to manage their own home and challenge them to step up to responsibility more readily.
Finally, Marmee’s words advise us to train our daughters to judge men by their character rather than their currency. Teaching our daughters to live frugally will foster this good judgment, for the girl who learns to do without excessive luxuries while managing money wisely will be much more open to becoming the wife of a man who puts God and his family over the superficiality of wealth, fame, and success.
Annie Holmquist is the culture and opinion editor for 1819 News. Her writing may be found at The Epoch Times, American Essence Magazine, and her Substack, Annie's Attic.
This culture article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal, a project of 1819 News. To comment on this article, please email [email protected].
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News.
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