Whenever the internet makes a trend of a certain lifestyle, that lifestyle, however good it may be, is unlikely to emerge unscathed. The cartooning of traditional wives and mothers on social media is one such example.
Many mothers build massive followings online by romanticizing homeschooling, baking, homesteading, and other markers of traditional motherhood. It’s all very harmless and wholesome – if a little corny sometimes – but it has the liberal feminists in a fit of rage.
Normalizing women bucking the immense societal pull of feminism is almost always a good thing, and insofar as this occurs on social media, it is and can be a powerful force for good. But for a world that is still unaccustomed to women who are overtly anti-feminist, the “tradwife” trend is limited by what is shown on social media.
Any movement’s death is marked by its own vocal adherents turning against it. As such, with conservative women like Lauren Southern now passionately against the anti-feminist movements they once championed, they are providing much glee for their detractors, leaving liberals hungry for more.
Determined to see the death of anti-feminism, liberals are constantly looking for signs that they are regaining ground in the culture war. A traditional lifestyle – that is, a wife who honors her husband’s headship and a mother with a domestic focus towards her children and home – is either unattainable or short-lived, liberals argue.
“Where are the trad wives who are 40, 50 years old?” one feminist account asked on X.
“If conservatives are so sure being a tradwife is what makes women happiest, then why are they hiding the middle-aged tradwife? Why not show young women what their life would look like 20 yrs from now?” feminist writer Jessica Valenti asked.
This is a common refrain for those who view the move towards traditionalism as something newfangled, rather than a return to a way of life that was the norm for most families until only a few decades ago. The simple answer to their loaded questions is that the middle-aged tradwives just aren’t posting about it. They are living their lives off the internet. They are serving their husbands and children, where we can’t see them. They don’t know what the word “trad” even means. They are, in fact, the tradest tradwives there can be.
As an example of this, I still remember informing my 50-year-old mother, a homeschooling mom of 10 children who has baked, sewn and raised chickens, that she was extremely “trad.” She thought that was hilarious.
The issue with traditional motherhood becoming an Instagram trend isn’t that more people are going to assume that lifestyle. The issue is that it gives the impression that what we see through a filter is all there is to it.
Both the proponents and opponents of tradwives are getting the wrong idea about why a woman’s homemaking is so consequential. The young woman, eager to wear flowy dresses and bake sourdough for her husband, desires a very good thing, but she should not be surprised or disheartened when the mundane routine of everyday life shows her that life is not a highlight reel – even a life as honorable as that of a homemaker. Opponents should also know that most of the time, tradwives don’t look like the curated images they see on Instagram. They are the soccer moms faithfully loving their children in leggings and a sweatshirt, or the 60-year-old grandmother prepping freezer meals for her pregnant daughter-in-law.
The aesthetics of “tradness” are good and important, but they aren’t even the most important part. Instagram can’t be the reason you love or hate tradwives, because it doesn’t always give them a fair shake or present the full picture.
Sarah Wilder is a writer and commentator on culture and the family. Formerly a reporter at the Daily Caller, her work has been published in Chronicles Magazine, The Federalist, and The American Mind.
This culture article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal, a project of 1819 News. To comment on this article, please email [email protected]. The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News.
