“Good manners reflect something from inside – an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self,” leading etiquette expert Emily Post reportedly once said. That sentiment is one that 1819 News’ Ashley Carter is seeking to instill in her own grandchildren.
A wife, mother and grandmother, Carter finds the self-focused nature of our current culture disturbing, something she doesn’t want to see her grandchildren adopting. Rather than sit and bemoan this trend, however, Carter decided to do something about it, writing a little introductory manners book for her granddaughter Paisley.
“Paisley’s Tea Party” is the result.
The story finds Carter’s granddaughter wanting to have a tea party all to herself, but then grandma – “Gigi” – comes along and explains the importance of unselfishness and the need to share and be hospitable to others.
“Gigi reminds her that tea for one is fun, but tea for two is even more fun,” Carter says, noting that she wanted to begin teaching her granddaughter that “it’s not just all about you, it’s about other people.”
As the story unfolds, Paisley learns “how to prepare” when hosting a tea party, “how to dress, where to have it, how to share, and to be kind and to be excited,” Carter explains. The two talk about making invitations, proper serving etiquette, and then expressing gratitude for those who take the time to teach these simple lessons in manners.
We don’t hear of many little girls wanting to have tea parties these days, Carter observes. She wanted to bring back some of the old-fashioned values that we seem to be losing, while also offering a look at simple hospitality through the lens of dainty, gentle femininity.
Wholesome books like these are disappearing from today’s libraries and classrooms, Carter explains, something she learned from experience, particularly while reading to a classroom of children at a local school. The book she was given to read from was colorful and by a New York Times bestselling author, but there wasn’t much to it, and the children recognized that. As such, she sought to provide substance in the story she wrote for her granddaughter.
“I did not plan to write – for that to become my job,” Carter says, noting that one of her own schoolteachers once told her that she should pursue a job that involved a lot of talking rather than writing. Rather than be discouraged by that advice, Carter took it as a challenge. “I think she’d be honored” to see the final product, Carter says.
In getting out of her comfort zone and seeking to pass along these traditional values and manners from an older generation to a younger, Carter hopes to inspire others. “It was for purpose, something within my heart that I really felt strongly about, and I hope other people will pick it up and start doing it too!”
Her words present a challenge to each of us. How difficult is it really to instill simple manners in our children? Consider just a few of the following:
- Say “please” and “thank you” regularly
- Say “Yes, ma’am,” or “No, sir”
- Show kindness by conversing and making friends with the friendless
- Exhibit a welcoming spirit by having guests for dinner once a month
- Write thank you notes for gifts or favors received
In the grand scheme of things, these simple gestures don’t take that long to teach our children – at least, if we continually model them to the little eyes watching us.
And that is the final reason Carter chose to write this simple little book for her granddaughter. She hopes that other adults will pick it up, read it to their daughters and granddaughters, and then be inspired to think about our actions, being challenged to implement more kindness, sharing, hospitality and manners in our own lives.
Annie Holmquist is the culture and opinion editor for 1819 News. Her writing may be found at The Epoch Times, American Essence Magazine, and her Substack, Annie's Attic.
This culture article was made possible by The Fred & Rheta Skelton Center for Cultural Renewal, a project of 1819 News. To comment on this article, please email [email protected].
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News.
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