The classic American sitcom “Father Knows Best” aired on the radio in 1949, later running for six seasons on television. It followed the life of the fictitious Anderson family who supposedly lived in the Midwest. The premise was that actor Robert Young, who played the role of the father, was a trustworthy, wise, dependable, and loving dad.
Society has certainly changed since then. Fathers on television today are often depicted as bumbling idiots, not role models. From “The Simpsons” to “Family Guy,” fathers are denigrated as useless, underestimated and unappreciated.
According to The Good Men Project, 85% of children and teens with behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. Nearly 70% of adolescents in drug and alcohol treatment come from fatherless homes. Correlation isn’t causation, but the statistics prove one thing: without good fathers, children suffer.
What constitutes a good father? Good fathers are protective, shielding their families from harm. Good fathers provide, ensuring their families have adequate shelter and enough to eat. Virtuous fathers are actively involved in their children’s lives, teaching them valuable skills and instilling important values. They teach their kids things that moms like me often aren’t great at, such as car maintenance, fishing, hunting, and lawn care. Christian fathers seek to lead their families by having spiritual conversations about biblical truth, taking opportunities to teach their children about God, influencing them in the right ways, knowing that if they don’t, the culture will fill that vacuum.
Father’s Day was back in June, but since then, I have had a front-row seat to the absolute necessity of being married to a man who is a good and dedicated father.
In some ways, I’ve had to play the role of “bad cop” in our family for the past seven months. With my son struggling with Long Covid, I have scheduled his doctor’s appointments, reminded him to take his medications, annoyed him with questions about how he feels, asked about his academics, scheduled his ACT tutoring sessions, and stayed on him about taking care of his slightly fractured foot.
All the excess stress that chronic illness causes has been rough on him. Add the academic rigor of 11th grade and the inability to participate in a sport that he excelled in as a freshman and sophomore, and you have a recipe for exasperation, discouragement, and yes, anger at having to answer a million daily questions. No one blames him.
All this reminds me that there comes a time when we moms have done what we can. By late September, my voice had become a shrill, repetitive, Charlie-Brownesque nuisance.
That’s when I looked at my husband and said, “Tag – you’re it.”
Handled correctly, dads can approach issues in a fresh way. It’s still cool and fun to grab lunch with Dad at Tony’s Hotdogs. During lunch, Dad may mention that Mom loves said son and is trying to look out for him. Dad can ask important questions about frustrations and discouragement without sounding like a repetitive nag. Dad can share Scripture and discuss how God loves us and draws us close in times of trial without sounding preachy. Dad is often heard in a different way than Mom. That’s just how teenage boys (and sometimes girls) operate.
Knowing how difficult these past months have been for our son, my husband has stayed extra-engaged. He has taken our son out for frequent dinners, and during those outings, important topics often arise. He has asked our son to fulfill some of the responsibilities that I was previously addressing – take the trash out, clean your room, empty the dishwasher. He often asks in a more lighthearted way, sometimes with humor. And you know what? Our son has responded better to his requests. My husband has successfully shielded me from being the constant wet rag, leaving me free to give our son more space, knowing my husband is standing in the gap.
I know some are reading this as single parents. That is a whole different article. But please know this: if you are raising or have raised sons or daughters on your own, then you have my admiration and respect. I cannot imagine the stress of trying to tackle all the challenges of the past year by myself.
I’ve been blessed with a husband who has engaged with our kids since day one. But all families go through seasons that call for dads to step in more and take the reins, especially those with sons. There are times when dads have a calming presence that moms don’t emote. That society has denigrated the role of fathers is not only abominable, but a lie from the pit of hell.
America’s future is dependent on God’s grace and the health of the nuclear family. According to “Theology for the People,” when a father becomes a Christian, there is a 93% chance everyone else in the family will follow. A good father’s impact on his family is tremendous. Women and children want to follow trustworthy men.
“The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them,” Proverbs 16:7 says. The men who choose to walk with Christ and love their families well are, unfortunately, rare today. But when these men lead our families with love and wisdom, we can say with great confidence that Father does indeed know best.
Kristin Landers is a substitute teacher and freelance writer. Landers’ previous work includes serving as Communications Director for the Alabama Policy Institute and working for Citizens Against a Legalized Lottery (CALL) to defeat legalized gambling in the state of Alabama.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News. To comment, please send an email with your name and contact information to [email protected].
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