A friend recently shared a song with me that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. Its lyrics are heartbreakingly honest, capturing a profound truth about our current moment that I'd like to briefly address.
Not so long ago, it was natural for little girls to dream of motherhood. They spent their afternoons playing house, cradling baby dolls, and envisioning the families they would one day raise. But somewhere along the way, our culture began whispering a different story – one that convinced them those dreams were simply too small.
Instead, we told them that success meant climbing a corporate ladder, delaying marriage, postponing children, and making motherhood fit neatly into a five-year plan.
We handed them a pill and said, “Now you’re free.” Free to pursue a career, travel, or live for yourself. Free to wait until the timing is perfect.
Then, years later, when many discover that biology doesn’t always cooperate with our plans, we hand them another pill. One for anxiety, another for depression, a third to numb the loneliness. Another to help them cope with the grief of a life that somehow doesn’t look like that for which they secretly hoped.
We offer one Band-Aid after another, yet the wound often remains because the deeper issue was never addressed.
For decades, we’ve let the culture sell women a story where motherhood is a burden, not a blessing. We’ve been telling our daughters that children are just an interruption to their "real" lives, rather than one of the most beautiful callings they could ever answer. We’ve cheered for a hollow kind of independence, all while watching rates of loneliness, anxiety and despair climb to heartbreaking levels.
Now, I know that life is complicated and messy – marriage and motherhood don't always happen for everyone. I see the faithful women around me who are carrying heavy, unexpected burdens. And this definitely isn't about diminishing the careers or the professional contributions of women, for we’ve always played a vital role in our society. But it is worth asking why we are so afraid to tell young women that being a wife and mother isn't "settling," but something sacred.
Becoming a wife and mother is one of the highest and most beautiful callings God has given. Scripture never describes children as obstacles to success. Instead, it describes them as a blessing.
"Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court." - Psalm 127:3-5
God did not accidentally create women with nurturing hearts. He designed them with unique gifts that reflect His character. He created women to love deeply, to build homes, to shape generations, and, for many, to carry life itself.
That doesn’t mean every woman’s story will look identical. But it does mean our culture should stop pretending that fulfillment comes from achievement alone.
The message young women hear today is, “Have children whenever it’s convenient.”
God’s message has always been different: “Trust Me!” His timing may not always align with ours, but His design is wiser than our plans.
We have traded God’s blueprint for cultural slogans, and many women are paying the emotional price.
Perhaps it’s time we stop telling our daughters that motherhood is something to squeeze into the margins of life. Perhaps we should tell them the truth instead:
- Your worth is not measured by your job title, your salary, or your followers.
- Your femininity is not something to suppress.
- Your nurturing heart is not a weakness.
- And when God calls you to marriage and motherhood, that calling is not settling – it is sacred.
The world keeps offering another pill for the pain.
God offers something deeper: purpose, peace, and the beauty of living according to the design He established from the beginning. I myself almost fell for the same lie, but I am so thankful that God’s plan happened and not mine.
Ashley Carter is a wife, mother and grandmother living in Elmore County. She serves as the Vice President of Finance and Events at 1819 News. Ashley has written three books, one inspirational as well as two children’s books.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News. To connect with the author of this story or to comment, email [email protected].
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