“I can add colours to the chameleon,
Change shapes with Proteus for advantages,
And set the murderous Machiavel to school.”
—from Shakespeare’s King Henry VI, Part 3
Recently, after finding the nerve to say publicly that I was correct about some political matter, some random woman online called me narrow-minded.
If I had known the lady at all, I might have found it insulting. But I don’t know her, at least, not very well.
I only know her by her ridiculous reaction to my correct political opinion as well as her name and profile picture which suggests her to be a middle-class white woman of a certain-yet-unknown age.
Though I suspect there are many middle-class white women who I would consider nothing but wonderful company, for some reason, it’s always that particular demographic who seems to find my political opinions most annoying and “narrow-minded.”
I worry I remind them too much of their ex-husbands, which is, of course, my fault.
If only the strange lady of a certain-yet-unknown age had known me a decade ago! That was when I was truly narrow-minded, firmly hitched to rigid political principles, quick to argue with any opposing view, and swift to call out the hypocrisy and lies of politicians – as though I was accomplishing much of anything.
Time has changed me.
I’ve not so much abandoned my principles. I’ve simply discovered, much to my pleasant surprise, that political principles may be realized in the strangest and most unexpected ways: Sometimes crooked paths are the only route to the straight and narrow.
I used to think politics was a literal debate society, but now I see it more as a stage for players of all moral shapes and shades. Much can be learned from the villains of a story, just as much as from what any hero may do or say. What good are heroes without villains, tricksters and fools serving as stumbling blocks in their way? Even the worst have their role to play.
Take political flip-floppers, for instance.
Though counterintuitive, flip-floppers are some of the best guides through political upheaval and change. Follow the shape-shifting politicians who have been at it for decades, and you may very well know what’s next on the political horizon. The hypocrite who can frame his face for any occasion may very well be written off by most as an unprincipled weathervane, but then even weathervanes have their use, as they know to point which way the wind is blowing.
Though there is much to be loathed about a flip-flopper’s hypocritical antics, his ability to survive is impressive, almost admirable if it weren’t so crooked.
That said, some political flip-floppers are better than others.
The flip-flopper who vacillates out of weakness or embarrassment provides very little value other than serving as a punchline or cautionary tale. Think of toe-tappin’ Larry Craig.
But the flip-flopper who flips and flops at just the right time, surviving time after time with his ambitions intact? Such a man raises flip-flopping to an art and provides the valuable service of signaling big political shifts ahead.
For example, if there is one modern American politician who knows how to “add colours to the chameleon” like no other, it’s U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.).
A murderous and slippery shapeshifter, Graham is a master at his craft. He knows when to smile, when to shout, when to wear false tears, and when to threaten the very worst. When Graham flips and flops the whole political world takes notice, yet he endures all the same.
Maybe you think I go too far. Murderous? Well, not only has Graham been for every war within recent memory and threatened many other military actions, he’s actually called for assassinations.
“Is there a Brutus in Russia?” Graham asked in early March 2022 soon after Putin’s invasion into Ukraine. “Is there a more successful Colonel Stauffenberg in the Russian military? The only way this ends … is for somebody in Russia to take this guy out.”
Right on cue, after being one of biggest cheerleaders for the Ukrainian war effort, Graham has now hewed to President Trump’s push for peace.
Graham’s latest turnabout on the war – publicly throwing Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy under the bus moments after taking a smiling selfie with him – is the stuff of Machiavellian legend, while also pointing the way through the harsh political winds.
Graham’s turn is the biggest sign yet that Ukraine has truly lost the war.
Most everyday people, I suspect, will still find Graham’s behavior absolutely wretched. Many years ago, I would have too, as I could not stand the man’s militant message and smarmy opportunism, all delivered in that buttery South Carolinian lilt. My rigid libertarian principles would compel me to scream in outrage against the “neocon!” and “warmonger!”
Yet, now, things have changed. Time has done its work on me. I have seen too much unfold on the political stage not to appreciate Graham.
Graham’s behavior may still be wretched, but now I find him perfectly wretched like I’m watching a method actor who has mastered and honed his horrid role, adding essential color and personality to the play’s drama.
I haven’t abandoned my libertarian principles, but what a beautiful irony that the flip-flopping of Graham may now foreshadow peace!
What an incredible twist of fate that Trump – who many regard as an ambitious, strong man and unprincipled shapeshifter himself – could actually stop the war!
What could be more libertarian than ending a war?
Yet, the road to peace is full of crooked twists and turns like all great stories tell.
I still plan on staying anchored where it counts, my principles intact and buried deep in my marrow, but now I’ve learned to appreciate the worst with the best, the good with the bad, the crooked roads and side quests on the way to the straight and narrow destination.
If anything, this shift in perspective has given me more nerve to play my own role and publicly say what I believe to be true — no matter how many random white women of a certain-yet-unknown age call me narrow-minded.
Joey Clark is a native Alabamian and is currently the host of the radio program News and Views on News Talk 93.1 FM WACV out of Montgomery, AL M-F 12 p.m. - 3 p.m. His column appears every Tuesday in 1819 News. To contact Joey for media or speaking appearances as well as any feedback, please email [email protected]. Follow him on X @TheJoeyClark or watch the radio show livestream.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News. To comment, please send an email with your name and contact information to [email protected].
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