Looking out my window to the backyard, I see a plant covered in vibrant violet blooms. Every year, this shrub is a little taller and a little wider. With all the recent rain, the flowers are especially plentiful.
This plant is known as the Rose of Sharon, a hibiscus. The name comes from the Song of Solomon in the biblical Old Testament, a poetic book that metaphorically describes the beauty of the author’s beloved. It is said to symbolize the beloved’s beauty in God’s eyes, also representing love, perfection, purity, fertility, resilience, and the enduring power of faith. That’s a strong name to live up to.
The Rose of Sharon plant in my backyard reminds me that we can use bad for good. It reminds me that honesty and accountability are essential human traits.
The reason is that this plant takes me back 20 years to when my son returned home from basic training after surprising us by joining the Marine Corps. A couple of days after he came home, our family sat down at the table for dinner and my husband began complaining about the neighbor’s kids chopping down a dogwood tree near the property line we shared with them. He was not happy.
I asked where the tree was, as we had several dogwoods then. Our new Marine, always known for his honesty – even when he messed up big time – had a question: “You mean the scrawny tree behind the barn?” My husband agreed.
My son then admitted that he had cut the tree down with an ax. When asked why, he had no good answer. It was there, and he had an ax.
The neighbors were spared a visit, and my husband was spared the embarrassment of falsely accusing someone else’s children of a deed they did not do.
We all do dumb things sometimes. We unintentionally offend or hurt other people. It’s what we do after we mess up that shows who we really are.
Two weeks after that dinnertime confession, we received an unexpected package containing 10 saplings. Our son saw the package, heard us wonder where it came from, then explained that these saplings were a replacement for the tree he cut down.
We planted the saplings around the yard. Now, 15 years later, some of them are growing into trees or bushes. Most of the dogwood trees we had 15 years ago have succumbed to a fungal infection, making the restitution gift even more appreciated than it was initially.
One of these, the violet hibiscus, this Rose of Sharon, is the most striking display when in bloom. I love to see it this time of year through my window and it makes me think back to when a certain young man was embarking on adulthood.
I used to think it would be great if we could pour our knowledge and experiences into our children’s heads so that they wouldn’t repeat our mistakes. But I’ve learned we all must learn some things for ourselves. But here are a few things I would pour into the adolescent approaching adulthood if I could:
1) Honesty is the best policy. Taking ownership of our own shortcomings is a sign of maturity.
2) Jumping to conclusions is a dangerous activity.
3) You can’t undo what you’ve done, but you can show remorse and restitution. The replacement of one tree with more trees was fitting for the “crime.”
4) We may not mean harm, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t harm someone or something.
5) Forgiveness is a must with our families, our friends, and God.
6) Sons do grow into fine men, much like my plant, growing in stature and magnitude to become quite remarkable.
Linda Harbison Baker, the former Chief Development Officer for 1819 News, is now happily enjoying retired life playing with her grandchildren. She was lifestyle editor of the Daily Mountain Eagle when newspapers were still printed and has raised funds for nonprofit organizations for several years.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News. To comment, please send an email with your name and contact information to [email protected].
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