“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day.”
For too long, I have felt like a stranger in my own hometown, a sojourner in the place of my birth.
“Where are you from?” Montgomery residents regularly ask me, as though I am obviously from somewhere else.
When I respond, “Here, born and raised,” I have come to expect the surprised look on people’s faces – sometimes tinged with intrigue, sometimes suspicion, and sometimes even the polite blink of someone who’s thinking, “Oh, honey, bless your heart.”
It’s almost comical and endearing – almost.
Indeed, there is a better part of me made worse by my anxiety to find a home that actually feels like home. Montgomery, over the years, has felt less and less so.
Except for my grandfather, most of my family has moved away from Montgomery. Why stay when you can retire in Auburn, truly the loveliest village on the plains? Why stay in Montgomery when there are better opportunities in the Carolinas and Tennessee? Why stay in Montgomery when there are smaller communities across Alabama, from Alex City to the rural coastlands of Lillian overlooking the sea?
I don’t blame my family one bit. I, too, have felt the pull to follow in their footsteps and leave this city – the idea that Montgomery would be better off without me, and I better off without Montgomery.
The changes in this city over the years have been bittersweet – some needed, some promising, yet some the rot of a failure to lead.
I won’t put all of Montgomery's ills on Mayor Steven Reed's shoulders, but as mayor, he does bear the extra responsibility that comes with his office – even in matters he might consider unfairly placed at his feet.
For all the increase in money spent, the investments in infrastructure, and the new amenities, there is undoubtedly a sense of insecurity hanging over Montgomery’s future, both in terms of public safety as well as public confidence in her leaders – local, state, business and religious – to courageously and competently lead.
Again, I do not put this all on Reed. Montgomery (especially Goat Hill) is packed full of “good people” with their own ideas and little kingdoms who love to politely pretend publicly we are all one community, while uncharitably gossiping privately as they jostle for position in a city scarred by an enduring negative peace.
Yet Reed seems to live off the negativity as much as his naysayers. Perhaps that’s why he’s the mayor – he’s more an effect than a cause of the city’s underlying dynamics – that, as well as the legacy of his last name.
The same dynamic could be said of many other Montgomery leaders. Many have inherited last names and family legacies, while others are more newly self-made – yet they all seem more effects than causes of this city.
The failures of present Montgomery are always haunted by the sins of Montgomery's past. The vision of Montgomery’s future is always clouded by anxiety about not truly knowing where we’re from, leading to a lost sense of identity and agency.
Perhaps, Montgomery itself is a sojourner in the place of its birth, a community freed yet lost in the desert searching for the promises of generations past.
I now ask Montgomery, “Where are you from? What is this place you call home? What is the city’s center? Its heart? What is its hope and legacy?
Last week, I was leaving my childhood church here in Montgomery, my true home in the midst of this hometown so foreign to me. I had been in quiet prayer and study, considering the question of where I’m from, where I might be going, and who I want to be.
As I walked through the courtyard to the back parking lot, I chuckled at how endearingly rambling St. Teresa of Ávila could be. Reading her writing was like talking to a long-lost friend, unseen, yet still alive in the words on the page.
“Saint Teresa, pray for me,” I thought with a chuckle.
That’s when I heard a clicking sound above my head.
I looked up. It was the bell tower.
Click. Click. Click.
“Perhaps, it's broken,” I thought.
Yet, as I walked under and through the threshold of the tower, the bells began sounding their 6 p.m. song. I stopped in my tracks, and as I listened to the bells, I looked to the West and saw the Sun setting behind my old elementary and middle school campus.
Recollections began welling up inside of me, teeming like water through visions of my childhood, as all the episodes of that place I once called home danced before my eyes. And as I bathed in the sun's warmth and an overflowing spring of memories, and as the bells ended their song, I saw a mourning dove glide above the bell tower and over my head into the sunset.
“This is home,” I thought to myself. “Not this building, not this school, not this campus, but this gratitude I feel for the gift of another day and another hour to seek first his kingdom.”
I still do not know whether I will follow my family and leave my hometown, Montgomery, behind, yet I am at peace that this day I do not have to decide. If first I seek to do God’s will, home will be wherever His Wind, et Spiritus Sanctus, might have me fly.
Anxiety over tomorrow or the sins of years gone by need not trouble men or cities – and should be set aside.
As for Montgomery – if this city of 400 churches wishes to unite all its little kingdoms and tribes – perhaps we should make our center, once again, the fountain of God whose living water overflows and allows all to rise. Rather than political slogans, profitable schemes, or past sins shaping our legacies and lives, what if “Love Your Enemies” was written like water on the sidewalk at the center of our city – and the center of our hearts and minds?
Joey Clark is a native Alabamian and is currently the host of the radio program News and Views on News Talk 93.1 FM WACV out of Montgomery, AL, M-F 12 p.m. - 3 p.m. His column appears every Tuesday in 1819 News. To contact Joey for media or speaking appearances, as well as any feedback, please email [email protected]. Follow him on X @TheJoeyClark or watch the radio show livestream.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News. To comment, please send an email with your name and contact information to [email protected].
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