“Any man who is an individualist and a libertarian in this day and age has a difficult row to hoe. He finds himself in a world marked, if not dominated, by folly, fraud, and tyranny. He has, if he is a reflecting man, three possible courses of action open to him: (1) he may retire from the social and political world into his private occupation … (2) he can set about to try to change the world for the better, or at least to formulate and propagate his views with such an ultimate hope in mind; or, (3) he can stay in the world, enjoying himself immensely at this spectacle of folly.”
As a talk radio host, I swim in the cultural sea of the right-wing everyman every weekday – a populist confluence animated by a sense of downright betrayal perpetrated by the GOP party establishment, the corporate press, and the rest of the ruling class – and I am a better man for having braved these brackish waters. After traversing these currents for over a decade, I have obtained a handful of valuable insights from the partisan hordes.
First and foremost, don’t fight the partisan riptide, especially the online activist/populist undertow. If you fight it, it will only carry you out to sea, wear you down, and pull you under to a watery political grave.
Just look at what happened to Kyle Rittenhouse this past weekend. Poor kid! He almost drowned attempting to swim his own way. Spare yourself the struggle session he unnecessarily endured and do what Rittenhouse eventually did – give into the partisan flow until you find the opportunity to swim parallel to the peril and eventually back to shore.
Rittenhouse’s weekend troubles remind me of my own efforts over the years to reform my individualistic pathologies. The process has taken some time, but after a few years of playing in the muck and mire, I have come to love the fetid funk of electoral politics just as Winston came to love Big Brother. I now disregard the individualist ivory tower theories I once entertained in my youth and only allow the crowd’s wisdom to flow into the ivory tower of my skull.
Indeed, I have learned that the mind is a terrible thing to use during election season. “In politics, man must learn to rise above principle!”
Take political advice from the heart, the gut, the loins or the rectum, but never from your own principled mind. Do so, and soon you will find the partisan crowd’s wisdom truly humbling, if not absolutely liberating — so humbling, so liberating, so awe-inspiring, you will gladly say goodbye to your independent mind and all those principles you once held dear.
Despite my new-found love for the political herd, I still possess a remnant fealty for poor souls prone to aloof poses and prodigal streaks. Voting for one major party over another may not be enough for some individualists whose egoistic appetites are often more insatiable than that of the average voter.
If you’re an individualist willing to enjoy the spectacle of folly arising every election season, but still find your conscience troubled by your electoral choices, allow me to give advice on how to vote for both presidential nominees, legally.
Don’t vote.
This may seem strange, but hear me out. When I was still an unreformed individualist, I thought not voting for the presidency was literally just that — not voting.
Yet, after consulting with the partisan crowds on the right and left for many years, I stand duly corrected. Apparently, one should never be too literal in matters of the American civic religion. Not voting is much worse than simply failing to do one’s civic duty. According to the partisan crowd, not voting is, in fact, a way of voting after all.
Here’s how it works.
As we all know, the 2024 presidential race has come down to a choice between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris.
Upon telling your right-wing, brownshirt friends that you are unwilling to vote for Trump, they will most likely say, “Well, that’s just a vote for Lyin’ Commie Kamala then!”
Yet, upon telling your left-wing progressive pinko comrades you are unwilling to vote for Harris, they will likely say, “Doggone it, that’s essentially casting a vote for that racist rapist fascist Trump!”
And there you have it. According to the partisan mob’s figurative logic, you can vote for both Trump and Harris this November by not voting at all. Again, this conclusion is not something birthed from the vacuum of my own independent mind, but rarified wisdom distilled from the partisan masses themselves.
How wise the mob is! What genius insight! And dare I say, how much more patriotic it is than the average partisan’s vote, voting not once, but twice!
And I hear, by voting for RFK Jr. or Dr. Cornel West — or even writing-in “’Stone Cold’ Steve Austin” as your preferred presidential pick — some of our most intrepid individualists are voting thrice!
What an incredibly patriotic, though incorrigibly individualistic, display!
Joey Clark is a native Alabamian and is currently the host of the radio program News and Views on News Talk 93.1 FM WACV out of Montgomery, AL M-F 12 p.m. - 3 p.m. His column appears every Tuesday in 1819 News. To contact Joey for media or speaking appearances as well as any feedback, please email joeyclarklive@gmail.com. Follow him on X @TheJoeyClark or watch the radio show livestream.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News. To comment, please send an email with your name and contact information to Commentary@1819news.com.
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