Not until the last couple of years have I taken time to shift some of my focus from Washington’s politics to Alabama’s own, though my mind’s eye still lingers on D.C.
Despite Washington’s corruption, there is a certain aesthetic character to the nation’s capital that captures the imagination and makes memories that stick.
One such memory is me strolling down the heart of the imperial city a bit dried and crusty from a previous night’s revelry. The Tidal Basin was to my right as the Jefferson Memorial inflated in size the closer I came to the shrine’s first steps. Unfortunately, the Cherry Blossoms were dormant.
Upon entering this temple’s threshold, massive marble columns flexing on every side of me, I recall my mind being struck by two things: first, the towering bronze statue of Thomas Jefferson solemnly overlooking the capital of what he hoped would be an “empire for liberty” and, second, the words of Gore Vidal’s Burr regarding old Tom, “He was the most charming man I have ever known as well as the most deceitful.”
“Good to know how far charm and deceit will take you, Mr. Jefferson!” I remember chuckling to myself.
I have heard Alabamians chuckle in a comparable way about the charm and deceit of our very own Goat Hill (especially those who engage in charms and deceits themselves). And the more I turn my focus to Alabama politics, the more I think the Alabama establishment deserves nothing less than a contemptuous horselaugh for their horse-trading.
For instance, I guffawed like the lunatic on the grass as I first read in 2021 the justification for enshrining not a new glorious monument to some great Alabamian, but a gambling cartel in the state constitution: “Alabamians support gaming in Alabama … if it is effectively limited to designated locations to preserve the aesthetic character of the state.”
Aesthetic character, huh?
Whether it be her sublime natural landscapes from her mountains to her beaches to the Mobile River basin’s womb of biodiversity to the faith, music, art, sport, and language of her people — Alabama undoubtedly has much beauty to offer.
But there is also an ugliness to our dear state’s “aesthetic character.” Not everything birthed in America’s Amazon is pleasing to the eye or the nose. In particular, the slimy dealings of Alabama’s swamp creatures. Apparently, it was the stench of Alabama’s political culture that was right under my very own nose all these years while I was paying attention to Washington D.C. That or the paper mill up the road.
All I know is something smells like sulfur.
For an elect few to suggest blatant cronyism on behalf of a select few would preserve anything other than the ugly corruption of the Alabama swamp is a farce. But maybe that was the intention of the legislation’s sponsor, the aptly-named Mr. Marsh.
Maybe Del Marsh intended it as a grand inside joke. By preserving a crony network in the bronze of the Alabama constitution, we will indeed be preserving the “aesthetic character” of Alabama’s political establishment, as abjectly ugly as it may be.
Of course, this very issue of a gambling cartel will most likely be revisited in the 2022 regular session. The arm-twisting and charm offensive is back on. I can’t wait to get another text from “Ben” or “Brenda” in the middle of the night telling me, “Let the people vote! Illegal gambling interests don’t want us, their also illegal competitors, to be legalized while they are not!”
I’m not here to haggle over the details of the gambling interests in this state that have been well-covered by people with careers longer than I have been alive. And I am certainly not the first to suggest that if a gambling cartel is to be had in this state, let it be had with as free and open a process as possible so that we may have the best possible product.
If there is anything I believe in politically, it is liberty — even the liberty to engage in games of chance at one’s own expense while remaining unmolested by the authorities. But, short of a fully free market, it is best to remember liberty breathes better when and where power is allowed to check power.
So why not allow the private gambling powers of the world (maybe even the Trump family) as well as Alabama’s own pseudo-sovereigns to compete openly? Why must some “elect few” first give the store away to some “select few” before the people can ever have a say in the matter?
Because, well, the status quo also serves those same rent-seeking special interests just fine, just not as fine as a constitutionally protected crony cartel would. So they are patient and bide their time. As the late great Norm Macdonald once joked, “As long as the red dice are in the air, the gambler has hope. And hope is a wonderful thing to be addicted to.”
Clearly, Alabama’s gambling interests - both those for and against this latest deal - are more than willing to watch the political dice hang in mid-air, addicted to their hope for the perfect roll that will allow them to remain the house, permanently.
Say what you will about Alabama’s establishment, but just as Mr. Burr thought of Mr. Jefferson, I think they are a most charming and deceitful bunch. If Jefferson can have his temple for liberty, why can’t Alabama’s elite have their own temples and shrines full of slot machines and table games?
One last thing on the important question of our state’s beauty. Though it may be impractical and imprudent to suggest, if the people of Alabama really wished to dramatically improve the aesthetic character of our dear state in one fell swoop, we would simply do one last thing.
Disband the legislature tomorrow.
Alabama would immediately be a much more beautiful place.
Joey Clark is a native Alabamian and currently the host of the radio program News and Views on News Talk 93.1 FM WACV out of Montgomery, AL, M-F, 9 am-12 noon. To contact Joey for media or speaking appearances as well as any feedback please email newsandviews931@gmail.com . The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of 1819 News. To comment, please send an email with your name and contact information to commentary@1819News.com.
